17 July 2013

Encouragement: When you feel like giving up

Has giving up ever crossed your mind? Maybe not in the wholly committed sense of I want out of life, but you just throw your hands up and wonder "Why me God? Why me?!"

Encouragement: When you feel like giving up

A few of you that maybe have been following along might know how much I've personally been through in these last few months. So for those that do I beg your pardon as I tell what happened to those that don't. I'm going to refrain for sorid details because it could become a very long story and it's not what this post is about.

In late January as I applied for another job, set a start date, etc I quit my current; only to have that upcoming job change their mind and go in a different direction, so I was jobless. This joblessness threw me into depression, which I'm thankful for my instagram community who supported me, talked with me and encouraged me to seek medical help, which I did. Joshua and I had already planned at the time to move back in with my dad and step-mom (parents for this post), so with a job loss this was an even better plan. The weekend we moved back in was hard, not because my parents are unresonable but my step-mom has Huntington's Disease which is hard on a family and just the general lack of privacy for a young married couple. That same weekend after moving in Joshua got a flat tire on his car and was let go from HIS job! Yeah, oh-vey is right! Fast forward 10, yes TEN days. My grandmother on my mom's side passed away, on the way to the young age of 69. I was incredibly close to her, and this still makes me cry on a regular basis. We're going to do tv magic again and fast forward one more month, still no jobs for Joshua and I, and my grandfather on my dad's side passed away at the AMAZING age of 92! We're thankful for the long life but he is surely missed. By the end of May I had an awesome job interview and a job lined up as a nanny, my trade of choice. One month almost to the day after taking this job I was let go.

So after reading this you might be thinking, "Uh Abbi that WAS NOT a short story!" "Woah!" "Holy Crap!". Truly if I had read it from an outsiders perspective I think I would want to just pour my heart out, but I'm in it, in the muck. In this muck I think of all the people who are struggling worse than I am. My good friend who's marriage is at an end because of a terrible husband; I think of an ig lady who's had FOUR miscarriages, the last one after IVF; the countless woman struggling with infertility on my instagram. My heart breaks for them and that's not even grazing the surface of sorrow in this world right now; it doesn't touch the surface.

So surely I would want to throw in the towel, don't worry I've cried it out to Joshua many a times. That I just want to give up, be with my Lord and be wrapped in his warm embrace (we all know that Heaven is the perfect tempature and the Lord longs to embrace us)! So how can I turn my eyes on God and say "How dare you!" "Why are you doing this to me?" When my heart is screaming, crying, begging to be with him. That I'm not strong enough for this that He has given me!

I could give you countless verses (which I will at the bottom) that have maintained my spirit through this, but I am just me, I'm just flesh and we all know how easy it is to cut flesh, we do it with paper. So when we imagine the frailty of the physical flesh, why don't we also imagine the frailty of the spiritual flesh? Is it any stronger? I think it's much more fragile, much more delicate! So pray when you think of giving up, that nothing on this earth will get better, that your flesh may be made strong like God's armor.

We can all picture what God's armor looks like, it's bright, shiny and thick as dragon scales, but we wear our own armor everyday. Let me tell you that mine is ripped, torn, beaten, dented and bleeding! Only my glorious Lord makes it perfect, beautiful and healed.

What else do I pray for? I pray that whatever trials I come against that I might let God sharpen me, that He may show me the lesson, and that I can pass that wonderful test! I know I say wonderful when in reality I've lost two jobs, two grandparents and countless moments where I wasn't as strong as I should be and I didn't give it all up to Him; but it IS wonderful because two beautiful souls are made perfect because they're with Him. I'm jealous, aren't you?

If you haven't thought that instagram was for you, please rethink about it. I have come to know some amazing Godly woman through this and am so touched by their love everyday!!

"...My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”..." 2 Corinthians 12:9

"Even to your old age and gray hairs
    I am he, I am he who will sustain you.
I have made you and I will carry you;
    I will sustain you and I will rescue you.
Isaiah 46:4

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

And my all time favorite for this season of my life:

" Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. " Romans 12:12 

I want to share this video with you, please listen to it and be encouraged!

1 comment

I love reading through your comments and will reply to all comments as time allows me!! Thank you for visiting :D