28 June 2013

Homemaking vs Fairness

Homemaking vs Fairness

As a woman of today's day and age, I get caught up a lot in what's "fair" and "equal" and what I "deserve". I lose sight sometimes of what God calls me to be. Yeah I give myself up as homemaker, I made the sacrifice to follow my husband, but am I really giving up as much as I could.

As most wives and moms know each day though it can be very similar to another day is also not the same. It presents it's own challenges and it's own triumphs! Right now in my life I feel that most days are more challenging then others, and I've been really caught up with what's "fair" in my marriage lately.

For God is not unjust to forget your work and labor of love which you have shown toward His name.
Hebrews 6:10

Looking at other couples I tend to compare the cover of the book (how the couple looks on the outside) to my own story, and I try to rewrite my story based of their cover. When I see other husbands that diligently pray over their wives and children, I get sad, because Joshua struggles with his faith. I try not to be bitter about it, and it's a daily struggle, but I remind myself that God has His own plans that are far greater than mine. SO when I look at other couples I see this amazing picture of what I want for myself and for my marriage and for my home. It took me a while to realize that that's the picture, that's not the story. Maybe it took him years to learn that, maybe it didn't. Maybe he does that but doesn't appreciate her as much as he should.

With Josh not currently working, I'm looking at others covers and saying that's not fair. So I'm sharing my discontent of not having that story with Josh by demanding that he make things fair in our relationship. I've given him lists of things to get done, and the most common thing on the list is actually things that are errands of the home. They're my JOB! My desires have been to make him work as I worked because I'm working currently as he should be working.

Wow! So I'm actually being unfair. Let me clarify, I believe, personally, that all couples should have chores. I believe husbands do manual things, trash, lawn care (not necessarily gardening), moving big things, etc. While woman do the more common things, the things our husbands would find tedious and might not do. Do I love laundry, NO! However, it's something that I need to do as the wife. Now Josh and I have it equal (there's that word!) I do the laundry (put it in, switch it, dry it, fold) but he hangs and puts away. It'll change when he works full time and I'm officially at home. I do most of the cooking, outside of grilling. I make sure the room looks nice and functions well, because I'm not sure it matters much to Joshua as long as he has a warm bed (love my husband's simplicity for life).

So the moral of all of this is while to society's standards I might being way to submissive in not asking my husband to do more around, if I feel that I already have too much on my plate I have some key things to remember!
  1. I am not a woman of society's standards. I hold myself to a higher standard and am a keeper of my home! This is my job
  2. God will never give me more than I can handle, I hope mom's here this! Even if you feel overwhelmed that you have too much on your plate don't use fairness or equality as your motivation. Still ask your husband to help but make sure your motivations are to be a good keeper of your home!
  3. Don't forget how much you give to your home. Even if you're folding laundry, try the laundry basket prayers; doing dishes, who wants to eat off dirty dishes; or just swallowing the fair idea and realizing that the reward is far greater and it may not be here!

I love all woman who aspire to be proverbs 31 woman!

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